1) I hate laptops, due to the lack of a full-size, standard configuration 104-key keyboard, and due to the presence of an [Fn] key with no standard location or behaviour.
2) I hate laptops, due to these <sarcasm>wonderful inventions</sarcasm> known as touchpads. Especially when they're not configured for tap-clicking.
3) I hate laptops, due to the lack of PS/2 ports into which I can plug my perfectly good PS/2 mouse and keyboard. (Four USB ports, a firewire port, a modem port, an ethernet port, an S-video port, and a 15-pin SVGA port? Sure. Why not? But even one PS/2 port? Horrors, no! Who could ever *possibly* want that!?)
4) I hate Macintoshes, due to the fact that [Ctrl] doesn't do what I expect it to do, and there is (AFAICT) no way to correct this.
5) I hate Macintoshes, due to the requirement that I use two hands to right-click. (Oh, sure. Let's connect my perfectly good wheel-mouse. Oops. Never mind. There's no way for me to connect this PS/2 plug. (See #3))
There I was, attempting to type a coherent blog post on a Powerbook. And I want to press <Shift-Home>. But no. There's no [Home] key. [Home] is <Cmd-LeftArrow>. So I type <Beanie-Shift-LeftArrow>, and all is fine and good. Until I want to press <Ctrl-Shift-LeftArrow>. Guess where the [Ctrl] key isn't. And guess what's there instead. If you guessed "the lower left corner of the keyboard" and "the much-loathed [Fn] key", you'd be correct. Now guess what <Fn-LeftArrow> does. This time, try "go to the beginning of the document". Note, that is not "the beginning of the text box". If I'd meant that, I would have said that. This is "the beginning of the document. Ignore the fact that I was typing in a text box that is now hiding off-screen."
OK, I think I'm done fuming, at least for a little while.
 I'm sure there are other ports there too; I think there's a parallel port, for example. (OK, so this isn't the Powerbook. But seriously. *FOUR* USB ports on a laptop?)